New contacts (again) and birthday thoughts

Two weeks ago I had an revisit appointment at my optician to talk about how I felt about my contact lenses. I told him the truth, they felt fine kept for one thing, at very long distances my vision was still blurry. He hummed and nodded while I described the issue, rummaged through a box next to him and put two loose lenses over my eyes and asked if my vision was sharper now. I confirmed that it was and he quickly returned to his computer, ordering me a new pair of contacts to try out. Of course I needed their most advanced and most expensive lens since I need to correct both distances (progressive) but I also need adjustment for my astigmatism *sigh* Well, I’m my father’s daughter all right. He has the same issues, but much more severe then me.

My birthday is coming up soon.. and it comes with a complex mix of feelings that surrounds this day that comes each and every year. In the beginning I thought it was dread because I was getting older, you know the classical reaction of anxiety and panic because you age, but as the years have gone by I’ve realized the aging have very little to do with it. I have very few positive associations with my birthdays growing up and the few positive ones I do have are one’s I’ve created myself as an adult. But even if I have somewhat come to terms with the anxiety I still wish I could do something about it. I hate that I can’t push the feeling away or at least handle it better.


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