The IFFIOL-day

Today is mother’s day in Sweden. I’m not a mother and since my own mother and I doesn’t talk anymore I don’t really celebrate this day with anyone. But I usually come along with T when he meets his mother and grandmother for some smörgåstårta (sandwich cake) and coffee on this day. But last year something new happened. Let me start by setting the scene.

I have a friend, lets call her Anne, and we’ve known each other for roughly 15 years, Anne is about 10 years older then me. Anne have two daughters and when I got to know Anne the oldest was no more then 2 years and the youngest was about 8 months old. So from the daughters point of view, I’ve always been in their life. Now that they both are in their late teens I’m seen as someone they can turn to if they have questions or thoughts that they don’t want to raise with their parents. Our friendship can be a bit strange for others but we’re more like a family to each other then just friends, I’ve depended on and received support from Anne many times when my own mother didn’t come through.

But I’ve never really reflected over my role in the girls life, since I’m the oldest among all my siblings it always felt natural to see them as my younger sisters if anything at all. But apparently I’ve meant quite a lot to them, so much so that they wanted to bring attention to it. Anne, me and another mutual friend of ours was invited to an event last year and the whole point of the gathering was that the girls wanted to celebrate all of the mother figures they have in their life and give thanks to the invitees.

Yesterday was the second time they did this. The youngest of the girls had also named this day to Important Female Figures In One’s Life-day (IFFIOL-day). The girls and their mother loves to bake and they had been busy indeed for this gathering. Everything on the picture below is homemade by the girls themselves.


Now, I’m not a mother and I will never be, I know that in my heart. But there’s something special about this, getting attention like that. Even if they renamed the day to something else then mother’s day, the girls still wished us all a happy mother’s day and gave thanks for the positive influence we’ve had in their lives. It melts even the iciest of hearts, like mine.

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