At times I have a hard time falling asleep. Most people do at some point in their lives so it’s not really anything strange, but since sleep is so important to me the effects of a few ruined nights can be very noticeable. About a year ago I hit a big wall of ruined nights and the sleeplessness slowly drove me insane(r). I was constantly tired but couldn’t for the life of me get a good nights sleep.
Sadly, last time wasn’t the first and probably not the last time I’ll have a hard time sleeping, I’m therefore very aware when my sleep pattern changes. The sooner I can catch a changed behaviour pattern, the sooner I can act on it and hopefully minimise the effect it will have on my everyday life. But when my anxiety is acting up, catching the symptoms is hard. I’m so used to keep my neutral facade up that I sometimes forget that other’s might have a hard time to see through it, even if they’re practically live with me (like T) or meet me almost every day. Heck, even I have a hard time to notice what’s going on underneath the mask sometimes.
A friend of mine probably hit the nail right on it’s head. She asked if I’m anxious because my birthday is coming up and that probably isn’t very far from the truth. I know this about myself, that my anxiety levels rises around early June, but I never know when or if it’s going to get so bad that it starts to affect my mood. But I did get into my running gear and headed out for a workout this evening. I didn’t go easy on myself and hopefully this will have a positive effect on my anxiety and my sleep. Exercising usually does as it tires my body to a point where I can find peace and settle down. But I guess I’ll see once it’s time to get to bed.
Enough about that though, I better go get something to eat and hit the shower. Got an appointment at the optician tomorrow morning so it would be really nice to get a couple hours of sleep before that. Otherwise it’s hard to decide if your eyesight is blurry because you’re tired or if it’s because the optician got the lenses wrong…