I know where my exhaustion comes from, but it doesn’t make it easier to live with. I hate the feelings of hopelessness and indifference that overwhelms and dominates. I try anyway. I try to go out and do my regular things, meet people and live my life like I want to. But this tiredness gives me a short attention span, makes it hard to remember things and solve even the simplest problems. My reaction time is slower then usual. I’m more like a zombie then anything else. And why? Because I took the car, went for a few hours drive, turned in books and went home. This depression is.. hard to live with. I always have to plan for extra time that I need to recover from whatever I’ve been doing. It’s tiring to be tired.
Other then that I can happily say that I decided on which contacts I wanted to go with. I got a 3 month supply of the chosen contacts yesterday and are wearing the first pair of them today. In contrast against the brand I didn’t choose, the ones I’m wearing are so comfortable I can’t believe it. I keep forgetting that I have them in and I catch myself trying to adjust the glasses that I don’t wear.
My birthday is coming up next week and I’m pondering if I should do a special throwback stream and play the majority of games I played when growing up or if I just shouldn’t mention it at all. I have to think about that and decide what I want to do. But I’ve almost completed my general playlists for before, after and during music to play whilst streaming. I don’t play any music when I play games like Stardew Valley (where I keep the game sounds on) but I do play music when I’m playing Diablo 3 (where I turn off the game sounds). Chill music before and after the stream is something I’ve started to do every time though. It gives me time to get ready and to give my followers a few minutes to get notified that the stream is going up soon. My playlists can be found here on Soundcloud.