Reflections on my continued weight loss

I’ve spoken about my weight-loss journey in several other blog posts, but it has mainly been of what already have happened. I have, as most of you know by now, lost around 45 kg (99 lbs) with the 79 kg (174 lbs) which is my current weight (my lowest was 72 kg/158 lbs). I’ve put on a few kilos from simply not having the energy to keep up the dieting and exercising because of the depression. My body also stopped answering to the very low calorie diets I had been keeping on and off for about a year. So I needed to let myself rest from the dieting and gain some kind of balance with a regular intake of calories.

But now, almost two years after I stopped dieting, I feel the call again. I want to loose the remaining 20 kilos (44 lbs) or so and get to my goal weight at ~60 kg (132 lbs). If I manage to get there I will, for the first time in my adult life, be within a normal weight range according to BMI. Now, I know I shouldn’t stare myself blind on the number on the scale. It is more important to reduce fat mass, add muscle mass and reduce the number shown on the measuring tape instead, but they kind of go hand in hand.

But since my body so clearly protested the last time I tried a strict VLCD-regime with only shakes as my food source, I’m unsure what would be best to continue with. I know it would be best to consult T about his thoughts about all this, as he usually sees this with more realistic eyes then I do, or maybe even contact my dietitian for some advice on what would be best to pursue in this state. But I think I know what they both will say, so I’m pondering trying some other diet that lets me eat solid foods and more slowly loose the weight. But my mind is racing and that panicky feeling are there. I really, really dislike it and wish I didn’t feel so small and helpless against it.

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