I have loads of things on my mind, but it feels hard putting them into words. I also feel annoyed by most everything, which makes it hard to separate what’s irrational and what’s justified. I’ve been having strange dreams, weird stressful things involving my parents, that have left me feeling restless and wounded up. In short – I’m in a weird mental place. I think it all stems from my worry that we wont have enough money to pay for the new apartment in February. T says we have nothing to worry about, we will meet ends, but there’s something deep within me that just see it all crashing down around our ears.. growing up that was the default state of everything. But he’s the one who have planned our budget and according to his calculations we’ll be fine. I just.. have to convince myself of it.
But onto greener pastures. For many years now I’ve acted as mentor to a handful of different persons, back in the day I worked as a form of study buddy to fellow students that needed notes taken from classes we both went to and things like that. The biggest thing I’ve ever mentored for was for a bachelor’s thesis. It took a little more then half a year but the outcome was very positive, the person passed on the first submission. This took a lot of energy and dedication from both of us but it was such a great delight see the person rise and stand on their own two legs.
I’m not mentoring a thesis this time but I do have a new student that I’m working with (informal and unpaid, it’s a friend of mine) and today we took the first step forwards by handing in the first of four tasks. It’s always a bit shaky in the beginning, before you’ve really found each other and know what you can expect from the other part. But this is a great first step and I’ve gotten the confirmation I wanted regarding willingness to put in the work needed for completion. I’m sure we’ll be done in no time.