Learning experiences – “unique” viewers

I streamed today even though it was my day off. I’m happy that I did as I’m two experiences richer because of it. The first one I could have been without to be honest, but it as only a question of time before it happened. The other one was probably also something that was bound to happen sooner or later, but not something I knew was going to happen at all.

The first one was when I was visited by 3-4 persons who wreaked havoc in my chat, spewing all kinds of bile and nastiness around themselves. This kind of persons are highly toxic though and only seeks attention. I greeted them, like I do all who writes something in my chat, but once I understood what they wanted I quickly fell silent and timed them out. Eventually they dropped out of the channel and disappeared into the interwebs from whence they came. But I’ve been called everything under the sun during my time in school and with a alcoholic mother. I’ve been bullied from the first to the last day in school and my own mother have added to that repertoar so my reaction was instantaneous: no visual reaction or recognition at all. But a part from my mother, this time I could give a clear reprimand to the viewers who were behaving badly.

Pretty soon after they had left (read: had been kicked out by yours truly) I was struggling with keeping the small talk up, I was a bit shaken. I always knew something like this would happen, but I wasn’t prepared on it happening today. I let it fall in silence even though I had 4-5 viewers at the time, feeling that old sting of insecurity I’ve dragged around with me for as long as I can remember. But suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by that familiar ding, I was being hosted by a fellow clan mate from Diablo 3. She also joined my chat and soon my channel was buzzing with chatters, much more pleasant then the previous visitors.

I’d much rather remember how nice it felt when my clan mate hosted me, joined my chat and had a pleasant conversation with me then how it felt when I was called an array of colorful names and compared to a beached whale. But I think both experiences are important to remember. There are some seriously wacky people out there who will say anything to get you to react but there are also these warm and genuine people who just comes by and lights up the place with their presence.


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