On the last day of the year I like to reflect over what the past year have brought. This is a way for me to remember what have happened, both good and bad, but also work through emotions that might be laying around. I usually do this privately for my own sake only but this year I thought I’d post it here.
The way I do it is by going through my calendar and sum up whatever happened during that specific month. The theme for this year is obviously the new apartment and our upcoming move.
In January I came to realize that soon it would be less then a year left until it was time for our move. I made a rough plan for the coming year which included packing, sorting, throwing away and donating large parts of our furniture and chattels.
In the middle of the month I had my annual colonoscopy which showed that there was no new cell changes and there were no indications that there was something wrong. But as per usual, this examination is always heavily taxing on my energy both physical and mentally. I also had a meeting with my psych doctor and she introduced the idea of putting me on disability pension instead of sick leave.
This also was the first month that A really got into her thesis, something I was heavily involved in. This was both because I had written a thesis myself and because I’ve been her mentor from before so she asked for my help and I saw her through the whole process.
The 2nd of February is our anniversary day both for becoming a couple (2002) and getting married (2008), this is usually celebrated with a nice dinner and some quality time together. This year though we did something that we will most probably never do again – we went to Vedum Kök och Bad (Vedum Kitchen and Bath) to check out all the different options we could make for our new apartment. We botanised among kitchen cabinets, door handles and accessories for hours on end until we both felt so tired that we had to take a nap before driving home.
I also went to work with the cleaning of old stuff we didn’t want to bring with us once it’s time to pack up. I remember feeling very exhausted but still determined to get started so I didn’t have to force myself later in the year to do something I could have started with long ago.
In March I went to have my mammography done. I was a bit concerned over a small hole shaped thing I had located straight above both my breasts but got my worries sated quickly. The nurse who took the pictures did an extra examination and said it was nothing to worry about. But she did add it to my file, just in case.
At the very end of the month we went to meet the interior planner to place the order on the additions we wanted for the apartment.
The 10th of April was the first time I went live with anything and I played Cluckles’ Adventure. My computer kicked the bucket in the end of the month and Sweden saw it’s first terrorist attack. I had my hearth in my throat when I heard about it because I have large parts of my family in or around Stockholm. I was especially worried about my dad who often work in Stockholm City.
April was a hectic month if you’re to believe my calendar. We went to a cocktail party and celebrated a friend who turned 35 only a week after that. I was also invited to my first convention, a small one true, but still arranged by a game studio.
I also drove across one forth of Sweden to help and support A for her thesis. She was to interview a bunch of businessmen in a town much further south and since it took so many hours to get there, any other kind of transportation then car was out of the question. She did pay for the gas though, so the price was as if she had taken the train but with the additional luxury of having a personal driver and had times that was adjusted to her needs.
The big thing for this month was when T’s sifu (master) came to visit their club all the way from Hong Kong. Both T and his Wing Tsun brother’s had taken a few days off for his visit so that they could spend all the time absorbing as much knowledge as possible for the few days he was here.
The 22nd this month was the stop time for any adjustments to be done in the apartment. But since we had had a personal meeting with the interior decorator a month in advance we had already put the order down and paid for it.
And on the 28th (the day before Mothers’ day) I was invited to another special event, the IFFIOL-day. I felt touched by the girls effort and took pride in knowing I had made a difference in their life. I can have a rather icy heart when it comes to kids (which is why I don’t want to be a parent) but this gesture in particular made it melt.
Somewhere in between the very end of May and the beginning of June, A sent me the happy news that she had passed on her thesis on the very first try! I was so insanely proud of her that I found myself smiling to no one in particular.
The 15th of June is my birthday, an event that I rather skip. But this year was special. Since I had been streaming for roughly 2 months by now T had arranged a surprise birthday party for me. All my friends had pooled money so I could get a new web camera. Not the cheap one I’ve been planning on buying, no, it was enough to get the fancy one I’ve been longing for.
June is also the month Swede’s celebrate Midsummer. We always want warmth and sunshine this day but most often we get frigid temperatures and rain. But we seldom let that stop us, we have our herring with snaps and carry on. In later years though we’ve switched out the herring for BBQ, which in my opinion is the only correct thing to do. I can force down herring but I rather not..
We also learned that one of our friends and his girlfriend was expecting. I was genuinely happy for him, I know how much he have longed for this and I think he’ll be a great father. But I was saddened to learn that he thought I would react in such a way that we no longer could be friends because of my personal stance of being a parent.
The 11th of July I was offered to become affiliated with Twitch, roughly three month’s after I started! I remember having to wait a day or two for the mail to arrive and I was so nervous that someone would unfollow so I didn’t qualify any more. But everything worked out and when writing this I’m closing in on 200 followers which means that I can soon apply for partnership!
During July I also started getting headaches after my hormone patches had to be switched out for a hormone gel. There had been some issues with the patches for almost a whole year but I had always managed to find them somewhere else, even if it meant having to drive quite far to get them. The headaches appeared only two or three days after I had switched so the connection wasn’t that hard to make even if I did miss it in the beginning.
This month we went to yet another cocktail party, this time for my little sister (not the blood bound kind though, it was one of the IFFIOL-girls) who had just turned 18. The main reason for this party though was not to get as wasted as possible but to help lil sis find her limit so she wouldn’t end up in the ER, get roofied or taken advantage of. It might sound a bit strange but this was a controlled environment where all of us was there to help her through this first experience with alcohol.
Most of my energy for this month though went to managing my migraine attacks and trying to keep up my regular stream. After about 5 weeks with the migraines I contacted the general healthcare and got an appointment with a doctor to see what could be done. I was prescribed a beta-blocker, prescription strength painkillers and a nasal spray to help me in the battle. Eventually the migraine lost.
We got a broken window, which made me reflect over the fact that I had never had a broken window before. We also joined a RPG-campaign, Pathfinder, in addition to the Age-campaign we already had going. At the very last day of August I held my bi-annual lecture on bipolarity for nurse student at the local University.
In September I got a new student. This time it wasn’t for a thesis but the person in question had tried to finish this University course for years without any success. K had heard how well it had went for A and asked me if I could help her get going with her course. I was flattered and agreed to help her as best as I could. This was somewhat over my head though, the study she was going to conduct was in advance medicine so I couldn’t be of much help in the subject. But since I’ve mentored for others in everything from programming, Swedish, English, chemistry, law & order and information systems I was sure that we would get through it anyway.
In the middle of the month I went for one of my last laser treatment to have my neck tattoo removed. At this point I had been doing this for about 1½ year and I felt more then ready to be rid of it.
I was also invited to join A on a field trip to Gothenburg. The main reason for this was to attend the Chocolate, Licorice and Delicacies Fair. We overloaded on chocolate and spend the day giggling like teens. The best part of it though? I felt like a teenager but had the credit card of an adult. Everything that I wanted to get I could buy without having to worry too much of the sum.
I learned of Anders retirement this month. I was saddened and had a hard time coming to terms with it in the beginning, but Anders being in the profession he was had planned this out in a good way and I was told a couple of months in advance.
I held my my annual bipolar lecture for medical personell and fellow patients and went to an information meeting about the apartment. I booted up my own Mage-campaign and we celebrated T’s birthday. I also participated in my first LevelWithACause (LWAC) campaign.
I noticed my depression going into a downward spiral and I started to pay more attention to the signs that I might be getting worse. I reflected upon crying more often, easily being offended and have my feelings hurt more often.
We also went to very last meeting regarding our apartment in the middle of the month. After this date it was time to get going with all the “last” things regarding the move as it’s roughly 3½ month left until it’s time.
I “came out” as bipolar and talked a bit about what it meant to me as I was participating in the LWAC-campaign. I got vaccinated for this season’s flu virus and I’m seriously questioning if I should be GM:ing at all.
We hand in the papers for ending the lease on the apartment and our landlord showcases it less then a week after that. I’m not taking it especially well since I’m not prepared for it yet and feel like my privacy is violated.
I booked the moving company after having had met a few colorful and interesting individuals. I also learned that I had much to high cholesterol and to my dismay I was prescribed yet another pill to take.
T told me he wanted to get his hair cut. I was very saddened about this and cried for many days like I had lost my own hair.
K finished her course! We saw the new Star Wars movie and I constantly cried for the last 30-40 minutes because of Carrie Fisher. Carrie have meant a lot to me in terms of accepting my bipolar diagnose as she was bipolar herself. Here’s to a princess who doesn’t need rescuing!
We cut T’s hair before the annual Christmas party. The reaction on this change was huge from basically everyone. It took me a a few weeks to get used to the change and for a long time I preferred to see him with his winter hat on as he looked “normal” then.
We celebrate Christmas with T’s family, my Janssons was complemented this year as well and as usual we’re celebrating the new year with our friends. It’s a non-party for anyone who doesn’t want to celebrate with the regular stale new years dinners and you’re prompted to come in whatever clothing you wish. Most often we are there in our onesies, sweat pants or other comfortable clothing. We do toast in champagne and watch the fireworks on the TV though, but that’s about it.
I wish all my readers a Happy New Year and hope to see you around for 2018!