My dad

I called my dad the day after the colonoscopy. I knew from before that they’ve removed polyps on him and I felt that I wanted to talk to someone who also had faced that. Dad was very supportive and understanding, I felt like he understood perfectly when I said I knew there wasn’t really anything to worry about at this stage but that it was a heavy piece of news anyway and that I felt kinda small.

Our relationship have always been kinda strained and weird, mother was cheating on him around the same time I was conceived so I know he was wasn’t always sure I really was his child. He never demanded a DNA test of my mother but it left little to the imagination when he mumbled “Oh, so you’re really mine then” when my blood sample came back positive for Lynch Syndrome. Not to forget that I bear a very clear resemblance of my aunt and grandmother and also got the same refraction error and hair color as dad.

It might sound harsh, hearing that from your dad, but I know he meant nothing ill with it. Neither he nor mother have spoken much about what drove them apart but I’ve understood that it really hurt him deeply. I think he never forgave her for that particular thing.

Strange as it might sound, this Lynch Syndrome thing have brought me closer to my family, I feel a desire to spend time with them because of it. All my cousins haven’t taken the test but those of us that have and carries the gene are the third generation in this family that goes through it and it kind of binds us together.

It’s quite dark humor but we also joke about our operations, calling us the BWO’s (Bodies Without Organs) of our family. The BWO’s so far are me, my dad, one of my uncles and my aunt. We hope we can keep the club rather exclusive and not have to count anyone else to it but if cancer is found we honestly say “Well, it’s good that they found it” after cursing (preferably in Finnish).

But I heard the compassion and sadness in dad’s voice during the phone call. Dad have said that he wished that none of his children had to carry this in their lifetime and that he was saddened that I had to. There’s always a chance nothing pops up even if the person is carrying the gene and I guess he had hoped that this would be the case for me. But just hearing his voice and the kind words he said gave me so much strength. No matter our faltering relationship in the past –unnamed

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