The mother of all heacaches

As someone who constantly have had some kind of tension and headaches or migraines growing up (and having it long into adulthood), I got so used having the headaches that I also learned what needed to be done to have them pass as quickly as possible. If I were unlucky the headache would stay for a week or more, but two or three days were more common. Nevertheless, it was always very painful and energy draining.

But since I started climbing on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs 13 years or so ago, the tension from feeling unsafe started to unravel and thus caused me much pain. I had a whole childhood worth of fears and uncertainties built up around my shoulders and neck so it took a long time to get it sorted. But eventually, it all panned out and the pain seemed to go away.

There was that whole deal with the migraines, both during this period and later, but those I always could break off with the right medication. This pain I’m talking about now was hardly ever affected by the painkillers, it was such a head splitting sensation that it just couldn’t be nullified no matter what I tried, even if I could ease it somewhat.

I knew I’ve been tensing up during the past months, but I didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten. When this hit me yesterday, I first thought it was a migraine on the rise. I quickly took my nasal spray as that was how fast it was moving, it gave temporary brief and I thought nothing more of it. But as the day progressed it soon was abundantly clear what kind of headache this was.

We were away during the evening but I quickly hit the sack once home. I had a hard time falling asleep, even though I had taken extra of my night meds. I must have slumbered but around 02.00 (2 am) the pain woke me up and had me shoot out of the bed. T hadn’t gotten to sleep yet so he half panicky tried to get me to go back to bed. In a haze I went to the first aid box we keep in the big wardrobe, I knew I had some gel that numbs locally that I used to make use of to get some kind of relief from the pain all those years ago.

Eventually I could get to sleep, but I slept badly. Waking up I felt a soreness right at the top neck vertebrae on the side that I had had the pain yesterday. I’ve taken painkillers throughout the day, the pain has threatened to break free again but I’ve kept in check like I used to. I’ve also been extra attentive to my food and water intake as that usually are a imbalance that sometimes propels the pain.

But I wished for happier days and even though the headache dominated yesterday, I still met with friends and talked RPG’s. I’m not going to DM myself any longer, but since I announced that I wont be continuing with the Mage campaign a few others have come forward, wanting to DM themselves. There was a lot of laughs and my mood.. well it wasn’t as stable as I would have liked it to be, but I was at least not fuming over nothing the whole day.

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