About me

Hi there stranger!

So you’re curious and want to know more about me? I’ll be glad to tell you a little more since you asked so nicely 🙂

I was born and raised in a pile of snow in the northern tip of Sweden. Sadly, I didn’t get a reindeer, a moose or a polar bear as a pet and we rarely saw anything else then AWD fuel guzzling cars or snowmobiles in the streets. Mainly this meant I had to be equipped with a few survival oriented skills that my southern counterparts never needed to learn. This includes, but does not limit to, how to survive in harsh (mainly snowy) environments, how to get someone out of a hole in the ice without falling in yourself and how to make a makeshift shield in a snow pile (think igloo but down into the snow) so you wouldn’t freeze to death should you get stranded on a mountain for whatever reason.

My favourite thing growing up was playing video games with the radiator on full blast or racing my snow mobile back and forth over the frozen river until sundown and then lay in the silence and watch the northern lights (aurora borealis) slowly dance across the heavens. At 4 years old I told my mother I wanted to play games for a living, she laughed at me and told me how silly this was. At 7 years old I told my teacher and my classmates the same and was laughed at once more. The only one who didn’t laugh was my father. Instead he told me there would be hard work to attain such a career but that he believed that I could do it if I put my mind to it (thanks dad!). But it took many, many years to dare to admit it and to dare go for it.

norrsken

But to be honest, I hated (and still hate) the snow and cold so the first chance I got I fled to a place that didn’t have winter 9 months per year. At 15 years old I therefore moved to my own place much farther south in Sweden where I attended a private high school where I studied programming and computer science. I took quite a few courses in different languages such as C++, C#, Java and VB in addition to the other more general courses approaching subjects like how to build a PC, building and maintaining a website and so on. During the second year here I met my future husband and we graduated together two years later.

During the years in between high school and me going to the university I worked as an orderly caring for the elderly and the disabled. During this time I spent almost all my free time playing MMORPG’s like Anarchy Online, Everquest 2 and World of Warcraft as a way to blow off steam before and after my shifts, desperately wishing there was a way for me to live off this. But still hearing the echo of people laughing at my dreams I didn’t dare repeat it any more, not even to my husband. Five years later I went to a small university in my regional vicinity, studying system science, law, behavioural science and social psychology.

Fast forward a few years we’re in present day. I never moved back to my childhood town, I stayed in the town my husband was living in and he moved in with me during our last year at high school. After we had been together for six years he proposed and a few short months afterwards we walked down the aisle.

Due to some hard times lately, I found myself having to go in for surgery to have my uterus and ovaries removed (shitty genes..) which sent me down a very strange path. It made me think of what I really wanted to do with myself and even if I never was in any real danger of developing full-blown cancer, they found the tumors early due to regular screenings, my reaction was one of wild, anxiety ridden panic and crippling depression. For almost two years now I’ve tried to figure things out, without any real success.

So one day quite recently, when I was in the shower, a thought hit me. Games. I play games all the time, 8-12 hours a day is common, and I play a wide variety of them. It’s not only a way for me to handle the anxiety, it’s something I really love doing. Carefully, nervously, I approached the subject with my husband, insanely scared of him laughing at me, but lo and behold.. he only expressed support. Since then I’ve carefully approached the subject with other friends, people who I truly trust, and no one, not even one of them, have laughed in my face.

So here I sit, in front of my computer screen, claiming my name on all the big platforms. It’s scary to take a dive into something I know nothing about, but since I began I feel hopeful. I know it’ll be hard work, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.