New experiences – a shattered window

I was once told that as you get older, the amount of times you experience something new is getting farther and farther apart. I couldn’t help thinking about that as I did experience something new yesterday. Not something pleasant, unfortunately, but still something new. Yesterday was the first time I heard a window completely shatter. It was a rouge football, kicked by a young boy, that caused the shattering of the window. The child did what children always do when they cause something like this, he ran and hid. But his brother had told their parents and then gone over to us to tell us that they’ll pay for the broken window.

I got angry once I realized what had happened, I’ll admit that. But it was only the outer window that broke, the inner is still whole. I was also highly annoyed that the kid just ran but he was no more then 7 or 8 so hey, I get that he got scared. The anger settled somewhat once the brother rang our doorbell and the anger was quickly dispersing as I was taken to the parents. These things happen. There’s a reason as to why you’re always told not to kick a football on a wall that has a window in it. The dad held up a civil front during our conversation as we swapped information but once I had turned my back and started going down the stairs from their apartment, I could hear him scolding his sons.

Now, with only a single window to hold against the strong winds of yesterday, it got kinda chilly in our bedroom. Luckily we have a spare radiator that we’ve used for especially cold winters that we could put by the window to combat the chilly air making it’s way through the cracks. And since we still rent our apartment, the first thing of the day was to call the landlord and have them arrange something with the local glazier. But everything went by very smoothly as I had already gotten the parents info and could hand it over to the landlord directly over the phone. Sure, we are a little inconvenienced with the broken window as it is indeed still windy outside and therefore somewhat chilly inside. But hey, at least we don’t have to pay for it or handle the insurance company.


The migraine continues to wreak havoc in my head and it annoys me as it affects my streaming ability. It’s not something psychological now, I’m only hindered by this physical thing. I don’t like having to update my social medias with messages like “No stream tonight […]”, but what am I do to? I will have to start taking two doses (I’ve only taken one per day so far) per day of the nasal spray if this is going to keep up.

But I am also beginning on the hormonal gel again and I’m guessing that’s why the pain is returning. But my options are rated from bad to even worse. My three options are: 1) Stop with the hormonal treatment and go into menopause – which I was strictly told was not a good idea. 2) I can try the hormonal pills, that I have never tried before and don’t know how I’ll react to, but which also is a really bad idea since they adds to my already high risk of developing breast cancer. Or 3) I’ll have to live with this migraines until my body gets used to the hormonal gel.

I’m going with the last option. But I only have one thing to say: Bleh.

Custom graphics for Twitch

Just when I think I’m close to getting done with my Twitch channel, I find something else to dive into. This time it’s custom emotes for my chat, banners and possibly a new portrait to unite all the social medias to my Twitch channel. Just as with my name, I’m pondering what’s best to go with for graphics to my channels. I’ve made decisions like these before, but so far I’ve gotten away with going with the free options.

I like the chibi art style of most things so a portrait with chibi elements to it is something I think I’ll like. I also think I’d like some kind of animals for my emoji’s and cats is a favourite animal of mine. But cats and dogs are over represented so I don’t think that’s a good choice. I do love red pandas but have also come to like snakes (sneks!) and fruit bats. Neither of those are used very often, which is a shame because they can be really cute if drawn as such. Now, I don’t have to contain myself to only one animal in the long run. I specifically want a hen in a tie eventually and also some kind of resting bitch face emoji as well.

But while this takes time and some careful consideration, actually getting hold of a digital artist that can do this for me is even harder. Most of the artists I’ve looked at don’t take any more commissions as they have gotten an influx of people wanting custom emoji’s since the release of Twitch’s affiliate program. It’s a luxury problem to have for sure, but it still puts me in a hard position. This isn’t the buyers market at the moment, the artist seem to be able to take their pick and leave the ones they don’t want to do.

On with the heavy artillery – migraine edition

I was so happy yesterday and the day before that when my migraine seemed to be giving in and finally disperse. Then, yesterday, T and me were invited to a table top RPG-session (Role Playing Game) with our friends. Since the pain had mostly disappeared I thought nothing more of it and gladly went to our friend’s place. During the RPG-session though my migraine slowly began pulsating again. By the end of the session I was near tears as the pain had blossomed completely. I took yet another dose of the nasal spray and not even that gave complete respite, just a small window of an hour without the pain.

I got up early today and called the health care center, as was suggested to me by the nurse at the communication center (that I wrote about here). I told the nurse who returned my call from the health care center about my 8 day migraine streak, was asked a couple questions about the nature of the pain and was prompted to tell her of my symptoms, what painkillers I had been taking and what I strategies I had tried. She hummed softly while I spoke, typed something quickly over her keyboard and gave me an appointment to a doctor 1½ hour later.

Things went smooth with the doctor as well. She did the regular screening/examination to rule out brain damage and cerebral haemorrhage and sent me for a ECG with a nurse across the hall. When the nurse was done with me I met with the doctor again and she had already put my prescription into the computer system so she quickly went over what she had prescribed. I got the nasal spray (with 6 doses instead of the regular 2 you get with the over the counter box), prescription strength diclofenac and a beta-blocker to try and prevent the attacks coming at all. The last one was mainly because she understood that I need to take my hormone supplement but it will be hell if the migraines will continue like this.

I’m still to wait a few days before I start on the gel again. I need to let myself get a chance to recover from the pain and the poor sleep quality I’ve had in the past week. But I’m very thankful for things going so smoothly today. I’m hopeful that the pain will be gone soon.

Adding more time to the schedule

I’m trying to add more streaming time to my schedule and I’m testing the waters this week to see what times might suit me the best. I’ve been doing the evening streams and I have tried to keep a game rotation of the games that my viewers seem to like the most. But, like I’ve said in an earlier post, Diablo 3 (D3) is the game that single handedly draws the biggest audience to my channel. A lot of my watchers also play D3 themselves, which of course means that most of them are only interested in seeing me play that particular game.

But I have been reluctant to skip all the other games and dedicate my whole channel to a single game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed with the channels that can pull that off, but I know myself well enough to realize that if I don’t have a game rotation I will get sick and tired of just playing that one game. I am a variety gamer at the my very core and the genre is secondary. I play games on the basis of them being interesting enough to peak my curiosity and wanting to play it, even if I do have genres I know I’m less interested in like first person shooters (FPS) and horror games.

So my goal with adding time to my streaming schedule is grounded in the idea that I want to give D3 more time on the air but not at the expense of all the other games. The best solution I could come up with was to give D3 the majority of the evening streams (as that is the busiest time) and play other games during early afternoon streams. That way everyone have something to watch as I need to be live on the evenings with D3 to interact with my viewers but not necessarily with games such as Stardew Valley or Recettear. The backlog of past streams carries quite a lot of my past sessions so it’s easy to go back if they wish to see a specific game.

I’m thinking of putting the afternoon stream somewhere between 13 to 17 once autumn rolls around and all the people with regular jobs return from their vacations but for now I’ve streamed 14 to 18 instead. I hope it works out fine and that this is something I can commit to. It would mean I’m doing a regular 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week thing.. and that is something I know I can’t do on a regular job due to my depression and anxiety. But I wont celebrate until I’ve thoroughly tried it out and done a serious evaluation of the situation.

Everyday update – Twitch, migraine and Cruising

Yesterday was a fun streaming day. Like with any job, you have your ups and downs. Some days are really slow with no viewers or no interaction with your audience no matter how hard you try. I’ve had a couple of these slow kind days for roughly a week now, but yesterday my chat was moving along nicely and I had several viewers at most times. I got hosted by two rather large (compared to me) channels and this gave me several new watchers and a bunch of new followers. It was mostly new viewers from my new clan but where they came from doesn’t really matters, I’m happy to have them all if they choose to follow me.

I’m doing better on the migraine front even if the pain hasn’t gone away completely. I didn’t take the second dose yesterday, didn’t feel that I needed it. But I’ve just taken the second dose since the pain was still active this morning after breakfast. Sometimes I do have a slight headache before breakfast so I felt it was best to wait with it until I’ve gotten some food into the system. I think I need visit the pharmacy and buy a second package and have it at home in case the migraine breaks out again or doesn’t want to go away after today’s dose. But right at this very moment I’m waiting for the effect to set in.

I’m feeling kind of stressed though, today is the famed Cruising day. During the day there’s a big motor show and swapping/selling of vintage cars. As the day progresses the cars leave the motor show and slowly drives through the city to show off their prized pearls. Most of the town are on their feet to look at the cars cruising through the city center and it’s overall a very festive event with food and beer at every establishment. Later on the party moves out to the streets and the sidewalks are littered with drunken party goers.

Now, I’m not the one to go to this kind of event, be it the one in the day or the one at night, but I do take some precautions like moving our car to a less public area earlier in the day as we live along the cruising route (we can view the cars from our kitchen window, which we often do.. for about 5 minutes and then we’ve had our fill). I also make sure I have done all my chores long before the vintage cars leave the motor show to be able to stay away from the crowds as much as possible. Navigating among this kind of crowd is usually not that hard, it’s mostly just tedious and tiresome.

Follow-up from yesterday

Before 9 o’clock this morning I had spoken to two nurses and one doctor. It wasn’t my regular doctor (the surgeon) but another of her colleagues that called me. But speaking with the first nurse, who had no clue who I was or what my case entailed was mostly enervating (I mean, it’s not like there’s a big fat journal on me in their systems >:| ). I had to repeat my data and info three times before she even began to understand why I needed to speak to a doctor on that specific ward. She suggested that I contact a GP instead of someone from the gynecological ward since it was a headache I had and that’s not something that was normally handled by a gynecologist/surgeon.

I spent 35 minutes coxing this woman to leave the nurse over at the surgeons office a notice that I wanted them to contact me and I’m impressed with myself for not loosing it as my migraine only got worse during this call. If I could have, I would have contacted the surgeons office directly, but since it’s summer and they’re low on personnel, all the calls are handled through this communication center for the whole region.

The second nurse was a nurse from the actual ward and even if she didn’t know all the details from my case, she knew enough to alert the doctor in charge that I needed to get in contact with them before the end of the day. The doctor called me 45 minutes later. Once I’ve gotten hold of the doctor I was given clear directives (hallelujah!) right of the bat as she knew who I was, why I was calling, that I had been in contact with 1177 yesterday and that I was to call if the migraine didn’t go away during the night.

I’m to stop using the gel for a week or so, at least until the migraine goes away, and then try them out again. If the migraine comes back I’m to stop using the gel completely and try another form of the drug, a pill this time. The doctor also informed me that she had contacted the manufacturer of the patches and while the production is completely stopped now, the issue should be solved in a few months. Hopefully I’ll be able to go back to the patches at the end of the year.

I was also given counselling on how to handle the migraines and we decided on a nasal spray that wouldn’t put as much strain on my already overloaded system but still help me with the pain. I’ve taken the first dose of the nasal spray just before writing this and it says on the packaging that I should feel the effect within the first 15 minutes. If the pain persists I can take a second dose approx. 2 hours after the first one.

Writing this has taken more then 15 minutes and it seems like the pain has gone away somewhat. I don’t know if it is completely gone, but looking at the screen and listening to soft music doesn’t hurt as much any more. My nausea also seems to be gone, which is a huge relief. Maybe I don’t have to go full vampire today and lay in a darkened room hissing each time a beam of light enters the room.