I streamed today even though it was my day off. I’m happy that I did as I’m two experiences richer because of it. The first one I could have been without to be honest, but it as only a question of time before it happened. The other one was probably also something that was bound to happen sooner or later, but not something I knew was going to happen at all.
The first one was when I was visited by 3-4 persons who wreaked havoc in my chat, spewing all kinds of bile and nastiness around themselves. This kind of persons are highly toxic though and only seeks attention. I greeted them, like I do all who writes something in my chat, but once I understood what they wanted I quickly fell silent and timed them out. Eventually they dropped out of the channel and disappeared into the interwebs from whence they came. But I’ve been called everything under the sun during my time in school and with a alcoholic mother. I’ve been bullied from the first to the last day in school and my own mother have added to that repertoar so my reaction was instantaneous: no visual reaction or recognition at all. But a part from my mother, this time I could give a clear reprimand to the viewers who were behaving badly.
Pretty soon after they had left (read: had been kicked out by yours truly) I was struggling with keeping the small talk up, I was a bit shaken. I always knew something like this would happen, but I wasn’t prepared on it happening today. I let it fall in silence even though I had 4-5 viewers at the time, feeling that old sting of insecurity I’ve dragged around with me for as long as I can remember. But suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by that familiar ding, I was being hosted by a fellow clan mate from Diablo 3. She also joined my chat and soon my channel was buzzing with chatters, much more pleasant then the previous visitors.
I’d much rather remember how nice it felt when my clan mate hosted me, joined my chat and had a pleasant conversation with me then how it felt when I was called an array of colorful names and compared to a beached whale. But I think both experiences are important to remember. There are some seriously wacky people out there who will say anything to get you to react but there are also these warm and genuine people who just comes by and lights up the place with their presence.
It’s been a few days since I wrote something, I’ve had a lot to do. It’s just now calming down and I’m enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet before it’s time for the next, but last, occasion this weekend that requires our attendance.
It began with the charity event on Thursday and the leveling of a new character in Diablo 3. I managed to get to my first goal but was a bit discouraged as I streamed for a total of twelve and a half hour without having any interaction from anyone – at all. But it was somewhat expected since Diablo 3 never see so many viewers as it does when a new season comes live. I was not alone in streaming the game.
My day was completely reversed since I got to bed around 6.30 (AM) after having successfully reached level 70 with my monk. Even though I really wanted to sleep my full 9 hours, I chose to only sleep for 6 hours and then get going again. I was joined by T both on Thursday and Friday, but I was much too tired to pull another all nighter and only stayed up as long as T did on Friday.
Which leaves us on today. Today it was time for my Mage group to gather for another RPG-session. I hadn’t had much time to plan for it but I still had some of the plans that I laid down in the very beginning and the group kind of ended in the middle of something, so I hoped that would carry us through for another session. Luckily it did and we’re now through the intro completely. I have much I need to plan for and a lot of loose threads that I want to weave into the story again.
The last thing for today is dinner at my mother-in-law’s. It’s kind of rare that she invites us like this, but it’s probably because T recently had his birthday and neither of us had any time to get together. I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s something informal at least and for that I’m very grateful. I’m really tired from these intense three days and I would love to just skip everything and go to bed.
I will still stream the last session for the charity event tomorrow, but I’m gonna try to get started early so I can do another 12 hours without having to be up all night. I’m a bit worried how I’m gonna be affected when messing around with my sleep like this, last time I did it was when the necromancer was released and that took a while to recover from. If I get the same effect this time I think I’ll better skip events like these, or at least don’t mess around with my sleep as much around them.
Tomorrow is the #LevelWithACause event as the 12th season goes live in Diablo 3. If you wish to help me help others learn about mental-health, -disorders, -illnesses in the gaming community, come hang out in my stream at my Twitch page. If you’d like to donate to the cause you can visit my campaign site over at Tiltify, where you also can see the stream. Hit the green “Donate” button up in the right corner and you’ll be set!
I will be live from 18.00 (UTC+1) and keep going until I fall asleep on the keyboard 😆 or roach my goal. Jokes aside, I will stream throughout the weekend for this cause regardless and my ultimate goal is to finish a level 70 solo rift (so I can get primal ancients) before I shut down the stream on Sunday and hopefully also reach the monetary goal I’ve set for the campaign.
With season 11 in Diablo 3 coming to an end today, I will take a break from the game to return fresh when season 12 launches the 9th of November.
Once the new season kicks off though, I will participate in the charity event #LevelWithACause to raise money for TakeThis (campain page can be found here) together with my fellow clan members.
Until the new seasons comes live I will be playing other games on Thursdays which was my Diablo 3 days.
At the start of next Diablo 3 season many from my clan Rift will be raising money for the non-profit charity TakeThis.
TakeThis, Inc. seeks to inform our community about mental health issues, to provide education about mental disorders and mental illness prevention, and to reduce the stigma of mental illness. – Source
Since I too suffer from a mental disorder this event felt very close to my heart. Be sure to visit our charity homepage #LevelWithACause on the 9th and 10th of November to help us help others!
I’m trying to add more streaming time to my schedule and I’m testing the waters this week to see what times might suit me the best. I’ve been doing the evening streams and I have tried to keep a game rotation of the games that my viewers seem to like the most. But, like I’ve said in an earlier post, Diablo 3 (D3) is the game that single handedly draws the biggest audience to my channel. A lot of my watchers also play D3 themselves, which of course means that most of them are only interested in seeing me play that particular game.
But I have been reluctant to skip all the other games and dedicate my whole channel to a single game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed with the channels that can pull that off, but I know myself well enough to realize that if I don’t have a game rotation I will get sick and tired of just playing that one game. I am a variety gamer at the my very core and the genre is secondary. I play games on the basis of them being interesting enough to peak my curiosity and wanting to play it, even if I do have genres I know I’m less interested in like first person shooters (FPS) and horror games.
So my goal with adding time to my streaming schedule is grounded in the idea that I want to give D3 more time on the air but not at the expense of all the other games. The best solution I could come up with was to give D3 the majority of the evening streams (as that is the busiest time) and play other games during early afternoon streams. That way everyone have something to watch as I need to be live on the evenings with D3 to interact with my viewers but not necessarily with games such as Stardew Valley or Recettear. The backlog of past streams carries quite a lot of my past sessions so it’s easy to go back if they wish to see a specific game.
I’m thinking of putting the afternoon stream somewhere between 13 to 17 once autumn rolls around and all the people with regular jobs return from their vacations but for now I’ve streamed 14 to 18 instead. I hope it works out fine and that this is something I can commit to. It would mean I’m doing a regular 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week thing.. and that is something I know I can’t do on a regular job due to my depression and anxiety. But I wont celebrate until I’ve thoroughly tried it out and done a serious evaluation of the situation.
I love to play Diablo 3. There’s something with that game that keeps me coming back again and again. But I sadly I haven’t fired the game up as often since I don’t have anyone to play with (apart from when the game is in between seasons and I take an official break from the game). Playing alone is only that much fun in the long run whether you play hardcore or not. But I have been hanging around another streamer that also plays a lot of Diablo 3. He and his clan mates often play together and a few of them stream together.
So, I gathered my courage and asked if I could join the clan. I needed to gather my courage because I’m kinda shy and feel uncomfortable asking for things like this, even if I had gotten the vibe that they weren’t opposed to the idea. To my great relief I quickly got the response that I was most welcome in the clan and I joined up with them the very same afternoon. I’m therefore most probably going to switch from playing hardcore (if you die, your char is gone) to playing softcore (no limit, your char is gone only if you delete it). But this isn’t a problem if I get more people to share the experience with.
Other then that I’ve been pondering adding more time to my schedule, as I’ve talked about before. Streaming 4 hours 5 days a week have been working fine but I’m thinking I might add a second session on the days I already stream. I haven’t decided how long these sessions should be or on how many days I would want to do them on but since I’ve noticed that Diablo 3 is single handedly drawing the biggest audience, I’d like for it to get more time on the air, preferably without removing other game titles. So, I was thinking that perhaps I could play Diablo on most of the evening sessions and play any other game during a day session. But I haven’t decided on a rotation for anything, whether it be games or time, it is still a bunch of loose ideas floating around in my mind.