We usually don’t celebrate birthdays, name days, Christmas, Easter and whatever else most people like paying attention to. But with the years we’ve also learned that other’s do like to celebrate things like this so we’ve settled on the smallest celebration we can get away with. We’re often invited to T’s mother and his grandmother for something traditional to eat (Christmas foods, birthday cakes, eggs and whatever else is considered typical food for the season) and this is often how far we’re willing to stretch celebrating holidays when we doesn’t really care for celebration. It’s not that we’re ungrateful, if they ask for help with a traditional dish I’ll gladly cook it and we’ll spend a few hours up to the whole day with them socializing. But if we felt we could skip it without hurting feelings, we would.
There are a few exceptions though. For one, it’s very important to me that we celebrate our wedding day. Like I’ve stated before, we married on the same day we became a couple to tie the days together, so we have two reasons to celebrate that day. I know he doesn’t really care one way or the other but he doesn’t disapprove to go out to a restaurant and have a little extra fancy dinner that night. I’ve also told him that this day is important to me and he have respected my wishes regarding this day.
A day that he doesn’t respect my wish is skipping is my own birthday. Deep down inside I always wanted that “perfect” day that’s described in American TV shows. You know, the one where the sun always shines, you have this big ass cake, a table that’s almost breaking from the weight of the presents, hundreds of friends all coming to celebrate me. I know it’s childish, as soon as I realized that my life around my birthday became so much easier. But he still doesn’t let me skip celebrating it at least a little bit. So if I ask to go to an amusement park or just want to have dinner with him, I’ll get it. If I don’t ask for it, he’ll force me to go anyway with him saying “The day of your birth is as much worth celebrating as the day we became husband and wife, alright?”.
But today isn’t about my birthday, our wedding day or any seasonal celebration. It’s his birthday today. His birthdays are events that he’d rather skip so we have compromised as with my birthday, we’ll head out for dinner once he comes home from work. We usually don’t buy each other (surprise) presents any longer unless there’s something just right or can bring about a laugh. Often we buy things that we want but doesn’t necessary need, like computer parts and games. This year though, he’ll get something from me. Something I think he will mostly laugh at but appreciate nonetheless.
But with that said, this doesn’t mean we don’t buy each other presents to commemorate big occasions. Being somewhat serious but mostly joking at our 10 year anniversary in 2011, I bought a bracelet for myself and had the clerk wrap it up twice (think a box in a box) and gave the whole bundle to him at our traditional dinner. For a second I saw the mild panic in his eyes as he realized, 10 years together was indeed something that was to be celebrated with a small gift of some kind. I calmed him down and said I wasn’t angry or hurt, just go ahead and open my gift.
He unwrapped the first layer that was tagged with “To my darling husband” and found the second layer, in different wrapping paper and with the tag “To my beloved wife”. It was a second of stunned silence before he connected the dots and burst out laughing. While he gathered himself I said “I know you, my darling husband. The best gift I could think of giving you, is a gift to give me. Was I wrong?”, He shook his head, agreeing with me, still laughing. He then kissed my cheek and gave me “my present”. When he asked if it had been an expensive gift it was my turn to laugh, I had foreseen he would ask this question of me. I said that my gift was just the thought and the thought is free. “His” gift to me though? How would I know? I wasn’t there when he bought it… 🤣😜