Bleh

The migraine continues to wreak havoc in my head and it annoys me as it affects my streaming ability. It’s not something psychological now, I’m only hindered by this physical thing. I don’t like having to update my social medias with messages like “No stream tonight […]”, but what am I do to? I will have to start taking two doses (I’ve only taken one per day so far) per day of the nasal spray if this is going to keep up.

But I am also beginning on the hormonal gel again and I’m guessing that’s why the pain is returning. But my options are rated from bad to even worse. My three options are: 1) Stop with the hormonal treatment and go into menopause – which I was strictly told was not a good idea. 2) I can try the hormonal pills, that I have never tried before and don’t know how I’ll react to, but which also is a really bad idea since they adds to my already high risk of developing breast cancer. Or 3) I’ll have to live with this migraines until my body gets used to the hormonal gel.

I’m going with the last option. But I only have one thing to say: Bleh.

Custom graphics for Twitch

Just when I think I’m close to getting done with my Twitch channel, I find something else to dive into. This time it’s custom emotes for my chat, banners and possibly a new portrait to unite all the social medias to my Twitch channel. Just as with my name, I’m pondering what’s best to go with for graphics to my channels. I’ve made decisions like these before, but so far I’ve gotten away with going with the free options.

I like the chibi art style of most things so a portrait with chibi elements to it is something I think I’ll like. I also think I’d like some kind of animals for my emoji’s and cats is a favourite animal of mine. But cats and dogs are over represented so I don’t think that’s a good choice. I do love red pandas but have also come to like snakes (sneks!) and fruit bats. Neither of those are used very often, which is a shame because they can be really cute if drawn as such. Now, I don’t have to contain myself to only one animal in the long run. I specifically want a hen in a tie eventually and also some kind of resting bitch face emoji as well.

But while this takes time and some careful consideration, actually getting hold of a digital artist that can do this for me is even harder. Most of the artists I’ve looked at don’t take any more commissions as they have gotten an influx of people wanting custom emoji’s since the release of Twitch’s affiliate program. It’s a luxury problem to have for sure, but it still puts me in a hard position. This isn’t the buyers market at the moment, the artist seem to be able to take their pick and leave the ones they don’t want to do.

Adding more time to the schedule

I’m trying to add more streaming time to my schedule and I’m testing the waters this week to see what times might suit me the best. I’ve been doing the evening streams and I have tried to keep a game rotation of the games that my viewers seem to like the most. But, like I’ve said in an earlier post, Diablo 3 (D3) is the game that single handedly draws the biggest audience to my channel. A lot of my watchers also play D3 themselves, which of course means that most of them are only interested in seeing me play that particular game.

But I have been reluctant to skip all the other games and dedicate my whole channel to a single game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed with the channels that can pull that off, but I know myself well enough to realize that if I don’t have a game rotation I will get sick and tired of just playing that one game. I am a variety gamer at the my very core and the genre is secondary. I play games on the basis of them being interesting enough to peak my curiosity and wanting to play it, even if I do have genres I know I’m less interested in like first person shooters (FPS) and horror games.

So my goal with adding time to my streaming schedule is grounded in the idea that I want to give D3 more time on the air but not at the expense of all the other games. The best solution I could come up with was to give D3 the majority of the evening streams (as that is the busiest time) and play other games during early afternoon streams. That way everyone have something to watch as I need to be live on the evenings with D3 to interact with my viewers but not necessarily with games such as Stardew Valley or Recettear. The backlog of past streams carries quite a lot of my past sessions so it’s easy to go back if they wish to see a specific game.

I’m thinking of putting the afternoon stream somewhere between 13 to 17 once autumn rolls around and all the people with regular jobs return from their vacations but for now I’ve streamed 14 to 18 instead. I hope it works out fine and that this is something I can commit to. It would mean I’m doing a regular 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week thing.. and that is something I know I can’t do on a regular job due to my depression and anxiety. But I wont celebrate until I’ve thoroughly tried it out and done a serious evaluation of the situation.

Everyday update – Twitch, migraine and Cruising

Yesterday was a fun streaming day. Like with any job, you have your ups and downs. Some days are really slow with no viewers or no interaction with your audience no matter how hard you try. I’ve had a couple of these slow kind days for roughly a week now, but yesterday my chat was moving along nicely and I had several viewers at most times. I got hosted by two rather large (compared to me) channels and this gave me several new watchers and a bunch of new followers. It was mostly new viewers from my new clan but where they came from doesn’t really matters, I’m happy to have them all if they choose to follow me.

I’m doing better on the migraine front even if the pain hasn’t gone away completely. I didn’t take the second dose yesterday, didn’t feel that I needed it. But I’ve just taken the second dose since the pain was still active this morning after breakfast. Sometimes I do have a slight headache before breakfast so I felt it was best to wait with it until I’ve gotten some food into the system. I think I need visit the pharmacy and buy a second package and have it at home in case the migraine breaks out again or doesn’t want to go away after today’s dose. But right at this very moment I’m waiting for the effect to set in.

I’m feeling kind of stressed though, today is the famed Cruising day. During the day there’s a big motor show and swapping/selling of vintage cars. As the day progresses the cars leave the motor show and slowly drives through the city to show off their prized pearls. Most of the town are on their feet to look at the cars cruising through the city center and it’s overall a very festive event with food and beer at every establishment. Later on the party moves out to the streets and the sidewalks are littered with drunken party goers.

Now, I’m not the one to go to this kind of event, be it the one in the day or the one at night, but I do take some precautions like moving our car to a less public area earlier in the day as we live along the cruising route (we can view the cars from our kitchen window, which we often do.. for about 5 minutes and then we’ve had our fill). I also make sure I have done all my chores long before the vintage cars leave the motor show to be able to stay away from the crowds as much as possible. Navigating among this kind of crowd is usually not that hard, it’s mostly just tedious and tiresome.

Rift, my new clan & possible schedule changes

I love to play Diablo 3. There’s something with that game that keeps me coming back again and again. But I sadly I haven’t fired the game up as often since I don’t have anyone to play with (apart from when the game is in between seasons and I take an official break from the game). Playing alone is only that much fun in the long run whether you play hardcore or not. But I have been hanging around another streamer that also plays a lot of Diablo 3. He and his clan mates often play together and a few of them stream together.

So, I gathered my courage and asked if I could join the clan. I needed to gather my courage because I’m kinda shy and feel uncomfortable asking for things like this, even if I had gotten the vibe that they weren’t opposed to the idea. To my great relief I quickly got the response that I was most welcome in the clan and I joined up with them the very same afternoon. I’m therefore most probably going to switch from playing hardcore (if you die, your char is gone) to playing softcore (no limit, your char is gone only if you delete it). But this isn’t a problem if I get more people to share the experience with.

Other then that I’ve been pondering adding more time to my schedule, as I’ve talked about before. Streaming 4 hours 5 days a week have been working fine but I’m thinking I might add a second session on the days I already stream. I haven’t decided how long these sessions should be or on how many days I would want to do them on but since I’ve noticed that Diablo 3 is single handedly drawing the biggest audience, I’d like for it to get more time on the air, preferably without removing other game titles. So, I was thinking that perhaps I could play Diablo on most of the evening sessions and play any other game during a day session. But I haven’t decided on a rotation for anything, whether it be games or time, it is still a bunch of loose ideas floating around in my mind.

Personal space invader – Begone!

Being a personality online can sometimes be harsh. But if you move about in this sphere though, you to learn how to handle the comments, attitudes and name calling. The most infuriating thing you can do against someone who seems hellbent on getting your attention, by calling you all sorts of imaginative and colorful names, is to outright ignore them and deny them that pleasure. And while this is still something I face on almost a daily basis I’ve moved into trickier fields. I’m trying to learn how to handle the persons with good intentions, the ones throwing help my way just because they perceive something as a problem that needs solving.

Someone who is being obnoxious and spewing hate your way are much easier to just dismiss as their actions seldom are socially accepted and drawing a line there is expected of you. But how do you handle someone who thinks that their actions are justified, but in reality is infringing on your personal space (preferably without burning bridges)? It is very hard for me to just say “No thanks, I don’t need help” or “No thanks, I don’t want that”. It feels like it’s an argument waiting to happen as they are just trying to be nice, offering me help. But where do I draw the line? How do I make sure I see the ones who are genuine and for real against those who are just ..not? My voice is apparently “cute and endearing”, so me getting help when I haven’t asked for it is not something new.

Meeting a conundrum like this as a behavioural scientist is quite.. strange. I know how to handle whatever situation friends and family happen to be in, but it’s so hard to apply this on myself and know what to do. But as always, I think I already know the answer; the line must be drawn where I’m comfortable with it being drawn and I must be the one who draws it. But I don’t think that the drawing of the line is the hard part, the hard part is handling it without hurting others.. and I need to mull that over a few more times until I’m satisfied with my own behavior.

The mail from Twitch finally came!

The the mail and the notification (see below) was waiting for me when I got home yesterday. I provided all the info needed before heading to bed and when I woke up this morning I had a new shiny “Subscribe”-button on my channel as well as a new ticker for subscriptions. It is now possible for my viewers to support me by subscribing to the channel or by cheering with bits.

This is both insanely fun and scary at the same time. Thought’s like “Who would want to subscribe to me, really?” keep invading my mind and each time I remind myself that hey, I have managed to get this many followers by doing this, I must have something that’s interesting to a viewer. I know that if I keep this trying and do my best, I will eventually get there. And that makes my heart soar ^.^